Half Pint and the Tiger
by OldSFfan
Summary: Le Van adopts a kitten, despite Hawke's misgivings.


Disclaimer: These characters and original scenario belong to the copyright holders. I'm just getting them off the shelf to visit with them for a while. Le Van ought to have a little fun, so I'm letting him play, herein. Le Van was introduced in the episode, "Half Pint," as Saint John's son, and returned in "Birds of Paradise," when Hawke promised to be his uncle or his dad if Saint John isn't found or turns out not to be his father. Tiger is an original character.

Half Pint and the Tiger

So I was snuggled up with my litter mates on a warm, soft blanket. Mama was feeding us, so we were crowding each other to get to the milk. There were five of us, three of us with lovely striped coats, two all black. My favorite sister had a beautiful striped coat like mine, even though my whiskers are longer and very elegant.

I pushed my way to a teat and suckled until my brother with the all black coat shoved me out of the way. So I was waiting my turn again when a big human hand reached down and grabbed me and dumped me into a box. My favorite sister was dropped next to me, along with the brother who pushed me out of the way. Another striped-coated brother landed beside the three of us, then the box was lifted and we were carried somewhere.

After a short time, the box stopped moving, then something worse happened. The whole thing started rocking while we were all shoved back against one side of the box. There was a rolling motion that went on for a while and my brother threw up, and it wasn't a hairball.

Eventually, the rolling motion stopped with a lurch. The box seemed to be lifted up, finally it stopped and we were sitting in bright sunlight. Hands reached into the box and touched and lifted up my brothers and sisters and me. They started crying, then I started crying. It got very warm. I didn't like it. I ducked away from the next hand and climbed up the wall of the box, over the top, and fell down. Then I ran as fast as I could. I had no idea where I was.

There was a bush and I ducked under it. I sat there breathing hard and shaking, feeling very small, with my eyes shut against all the light.

There was so much noise near me that I finally had to dare to look around. There were many young humans running and shouting. One of them saw me and ran toward me. He threw something that hit the bush above me and burst. Something sticky fell down on me. Then more boys saw me and threw more things at me. I didn't know what to do. I tried to climb up into the bush, but the branches were so small, even for me, that I ended up back on the ground.

Then a hand picked me up. "I'll take care of you," a gentle voice said.

"Hey!" someone shouted. "Are you going to protect that piece of trash? "Look, a piece of trash holding a piece of trash!"

More stuff came flying our way. Then this new boy who was being gentle with me picked up something that one of the others threw and threw it back, hard, right into the face of our tormentor, who fell backward onto the ground. "Anyone else want to try it?" my boy asked. Apparently no one did. I noticed he was shorter than most of the group of rude and noisy boys, but the group opened up as he walked through them.

After he carried me for a little while, tucked in his shirt, he climbed into a car. "What do you have there, Le?" a gentle voice asked.

"Cait, it's a kitten. The guys in the playground were throwing things at it. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl. But the poor little guy was shivering under a bush. Gary threw something from his lunch and my shirt is sticky from the stuff all over it. I'll have to rinse it off in the sink at the hangar."

"What are you going to do with the kitten?"

"Can I keep it?"

There was a long silence, as the vehicle bounced along. "I don't know if String likes cats. We'd have to buy a litter box and all sorts of other things, and I'm not sure where we'd keep the litter box. Are you responsible enough to take care of it? And it might be tricky persuading Tet not to eat the kitten. He's a hunter and he thinks little furry things are his dinner."

And my boy, I was thinking of him as my boy by then, said, "I'll take good care of it. I promise. I've been training Tet. I bet I can get him to not eat the kitten, and I'll make sure he doesn't get to be alone with the kitten until he's learned to think of him or her as part of the family."

"Well, we'll have to get String to agree to it, okay? If not, I'll help you find a good home for it."

The vehicle stopped and my boy got out, still holding me. He carried me into the large room that smelled of things like cars but were much bigger. Then he held me at arm's length. "He's a boy!" he declared.

Cait asked, "What are you going to call him?"

My boy said something.

Cait said, "What was that?"

"It was Tiger in Vietnamese. Maybe I should just call him Tiger, huh?"

"Tiger would be easier." She leaned down so her face was close to me. She reached out and gently patted my head. "Hello, Tiger," she said. She pulled her hand back. "Ooh. He is sticky, isn't he. Let's give him a quick wash in the sink. We can use my shampoo. I'll find a towel. Be careful about getting soap in his eyes."

Pretty soon I was wet and shivering and wrapped in some material. My boy rubbed me until my fur was fluffy but all messed up. It would take me a while to lick it back into place.

Then a man walked over. "What's that?" he asked.

Cait said, "Le Van rescued a kitten that was being abused in the school playground. String, he'd like to keep him."

"Oh, come on, Cait," the man called String said. "Cats scratch furniture. They shed. They spray. They need a litter box. Tet has no idea what a house cat is. And we live in the woods. There are lots of critters out there that would like to eat a kitten. I really don't think it's a good idea."

My boy said, "String, I'll keep him in my room. And I'll teach Tet not to eat him."

"Le, Cait, I don't want to have to rearrange the house because we have a cat." At that point, Cait leaned over and whispered something in String's ear. "Oh," he said. "I didn't think of that. If we have a baby, we'll have to do that, anyway, won't we?"

A larger, older man walked over. He had a funny limp and walked with a stick, but seemed very kind, so I wasn't scared of him. "What have we here?" he asked.

"Dom, Le rescued a kitten from some kids in the playground," Cait said.

The very large but gentle hand petted me on my head and scratched me under the chin. "It's a cute little guy. What are you going to call him?"

My boy said, "His name is Tiger."

"Tiger is a perfect name. He looks like one of those white tigers, with the light gray fur and dark gray stripes."

A great roaring came from outside the building. I shivered, but the roaring stopped and more humans walked in. "Saint John, Jo, look what Le brought home," Cait said.

The new humans soon were petting me. I curled up in a ball in my boy's hands and tried not to think about all the new smells and noise and strange humans.

"Well," String said. "I guess we can try it." He reached out and petted me, but very lightly, like he wasn't used to petting cats. "But if there's any problem, we'll have to find him a home. Is it a deal?"

"Deal," said my boy.

And so it was that after a trip to a place called a 'pet store,' I found myself in a box being carried to a very loud machine. My boy got into it with me and the man and woman got into it and after a while, we were in this strange place with many wild smells and very big trees. They carried me in my box into the house and into a room. Pretty soon there was a bowl with my food and another bowl with water. A litter box was set up in the corner, and best of all, there was a cat tree with three perches near the window and close to a table and chair. My boy closed the door and opened the flap on my box. I climbed out and began to explore my new home.

That evening, my boy put a harness on me and a leash and took me out to the great room. He held me and introduced me to a dog. There was a dog where I was born, but I never saw a dog this big. This huge snout, as big as me, got shoved into my face. I stood up in my boy's lap and hissed as loudly as I could. The big dog snout just kept sniffing me. So I reached out and raked the big nose with my sharp baby claws. The dog jerked away with a yelp, then trying to look like he wasn't really bothered, the dog walked away and went to sleep. I was trembling. My boy petted me and kept saying, "It's okay Tiger. That's just Tet. He's not going to hurt you."

Cait and String were laughing. "I guess Tet just learned who was boss."

As I got bigger, I explored the cabin. I learned how to jump up onto the hearth when the fire was lit and I could be very warm. My boy put a pillow on the hearth so I could curl up on it. I would sleep on the sofa sometimes, too, but sometimes I was picked up and dropped on the floor, and I learned that it was better to sleep on the sofa when the humans were not in the cabin. When I got big enough I could get up on the kitchen counter but that got me a lot of attention when the humans were there. They would yell at me and drop me on the floor. It was an easy way to get attention, though.

Having beautiful, shiny, sharp claws, I tried to sharpen them on the sofa. Even though the sofa was perfect, it got me a big yell and my boy took me into his room and reminded me about the cat tree. And he closed the door so I couldn't come out. I tried to do it again and got the same reaction. After a while, I decided that it was the wrong kind of attention and I stopped scratching the sofa.

But the biggest yell was when I stood up on my hind legs to sniff something called the 'cello.' I got dumped in my boy's room, and the cello was not out where I could get near it after that.

One day, the female human was sick. I could hear her throwing up and thought, 'Oh, she has a hairball.' A few days later they started changing the upstairs room next to the bedroom. They kept the door to the room closed, which is just a challenge to any self-respecting cat.

The other challenge was that the doors to the cabin were always closed. I could not go out except on a leash. Finally, someone forgot to close the front door and I escaped to the wide world outside. Now, at last, I was free to be the mighty hunter that I am born to be.

There were wonderful smells. I followed one interesting smell to a bush and a small animal burst out of it and ran. Now I knew who I was. I chased the fleeing creature. In the distance I heard a commotion. It was my boy, yelling "Tiger!" but I didn't pay attention because I had to fulfill my destiny.

The small furry creature dove under a bush and I dove after it, and a great shadow swept over. I could feel the rush of air. Talons just missed me. I turned to look, trembling, as a great bird flew past. The little furry creature ran off, but I just sat there, shaking, until my boy found me.

Another time, I got out and suddenly found myself surrounded by three weird, skinny dogs. They looked hungry, and I knew I was in a lot of trouble. But just as they were closing in on me, my boy walked up, calling, "Tiger!" The weird skinny dogs disappeared into the forest.

So I learned not to go outside the cabin without my boy. There were things out there that wanted to have me for their dinner.

All of the humans went for long runs in the woods, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening. Tet the dog went with them sometimes. Cats, being specialists in hunting from ambush, have better things to do than exhaust themselves pounding through the forest. Still, sometimes, my boy invited me to go in the woods with him. He would walk and I would stay close, pouncing on bugs and munching on grass stalks. Sometimes I would run up a tree trunk and he would laugh and I would jump down into his arms.

I got to be a big, and if I do say so, a handsome cat, with my long, lashing tail, and my green eyes, my lovely stripes and my long, beautiful whiskers. I could jump up on the counter with no trouble, although I knew not to do it when humans were present.

The human called Cait, my boy called her 'Mom,' had been running less, lately, and her shape had changed. An alarming thing happened. I was curled up on her lap and she thumped me. I jumped up, and she laughed. "It's just the baby moving, Tiger," she said. Well, I wasn't going to be laughed at, so I stalked into my boy's room and gave the cat tree a good scratch, then settled on the highest perch.

Even though Tet no longer bothered me most of the time, he insisted on eating my food and drinking from my water bowl. Finally my boy cleared a space on top of the bar that Tet couldn't reach. From then on, my food and water bowl were kept there. When company came, my bowls were moved into my boy's room. I didn't get to eat from Tet's bowl, because dogs, unlike cats who have proper manners, devour all their food at once. I made a point of drinking from his water bowl, just to keep him in line.

One day, when I had become a large and strapping year-old cat, my boy and I went for a walk. I caught a couple bugs and chased a small furry creature into a hole. My boy waited for me to catch up. We followed the path around a bend, and my boy stopped. Ahead of us on the path was a smell of fish, and standing there was a giant, black, furry, dog-like creature with a fish that the eagle had dropped.

My first impulse was to climb the nearest tree. That was the biggest, hairiest, scariest thing I had ever seen or smelled. But that would leave my boy, who saved me, all alone. I had observed that humans don't climb very well. So I did what I had to do. I got in front of my boy and hissed and snarled, and made my hair stand all on end so I would look bigger.

In the distance, Tet began to howl. The hairy creature crouched protectively over its fish. I advanced two steps, stiff legged, and still hissing. The creature stood its ground. It made a growl that practically shook the ground. I was beginning to wonder what I would do if it charged me. My boy said, "Let's step back, Tiger."

There was a pounding on the path behind us. Tet and String were running toward us. String was carrying a big stick. The giant creature stepped back from its fish and hesitated. String shouted. The black creature dashed to a tree and climbed it. Well, I ran to the base of the tree and made sure the creature knew I was there.

I realized that String was panting and laughing, but since he wasn't laughing at me, I didn't mind. Cait came up the path, much more slowly. She was carrying a metal stick.

"Are you guys okay?" she asked.

"Well," String said, "Tiger seems to have treed a bear." Cait started laughing too. "Well, why don't you two grab Tiger and Tet, and move back," he said. "It's an older cub. I want to scare it away. Cait, give me the shotgun." He took the metal stick from Mom. "When I shoot, I want you two to yell and make noise, so the bear doesn't want to get anywhere near us again, okay?"

My boy grabbed me. We moved back up the path away from the treed creature. Then there was a big boom, twice. My boy and Cait yelled and jumped, and broke branches. Tet barked and howled. I trembled, but the creature half climbed, half fell down the tree and ran away from us into the forest.

Back in our den, my humans fed me and Tet an extra special meal and treats. They sat down on the sofa and String said, "Come here, Fuzzbutt," and picked me up and set me on his lap. It is an honor to sit on String's lap, and I guess Fuzzbutt is me, but I like Tiger better because that's what my boy calls me. Tet's big snout rested on String's knee next to me, but I'm not little anymore and it doesn't bother me.

"No," Mom said. "It's my turn. Tiger is a hero. Come here, Tiger." She picked me up and put me on her lap. Well, I wasn't going to wait to get hit again, so I jumped to my feet to be ready, and she started laughing. Well, like any civilized cat, I don't like to be laughed at, but she petted me and said, "That's all right, Tiger. I didn't hit you. It's just the baby kicking." Humans make so much noise, not properly quiet like cats, but I recognized, "all right." So I curled up. And sure enough, I got that thump again, and I jumped up, but I could see her hands and she hadn't hit me. "Here," she said, patting her round belly. "See if you can sense the baby." So I put my nose where she patted, and I could hear something like an extra heartbeat, but humans are so hard to understand.

Then String said to my boy, "Well, Le, join the family hug?"

And my boy said, "Are you sure? You're going to have a real kid now."

And String said, "You're not a real kid?"

"You know," my boy said, "A baby of your own." He sounded very sad.

But String said, "Think of the baby as a younger brother or sister of your own. He or she is going to need an older brother. I did. I still do. Now come here. The family is not complete without you."

So my boy sat down on the other side of Mom, and they all linked arms across their shoulders. When Mom's belly thumped me again, I moved to my boy's lap. Tet curled up at String's feet. It was as good as when my brothers and sisters and I were safe and warm with our mother. I started purring and kneading my boy's knee and fell asleep.

When the baby came my boy introduced me to her. She is called Jeanny. She smells like milk and like kittens. I sniffed her, then went back to sit on my boy. No one minds when I curl up next to her crib sometimes.

Sometimes, String picks me up and says, "Come here, Fuzzbutt." He puts me in his lap and sits in his chair with a book. Now that Mom is nursing Jeanny, she doesn't pick me up as often. Her lap is occupied a lot, but she gives me extra treats.

But in the night time, Tet and I have a job to do. When our humans are all asleep, we'll sleep for a while too, but then we get up to patrol the dark, quiet cabin. After I make sure my boy is safe, I check all around the first floor. Then I go upstairs and make sure Mom and String are all right. A lot of the time one of them is up with the baby. But if they are all asleep, I go into Jeanny's room and make sure she is safe and sound. Sometimes I jump up to her crib to check on her and put my whiskery face next to her and smell the soft baby smell and the milk on her breath.

Then I'll watch out the window for a while, and see the wild creatures pass through the dark forest. Sometimes a giant cat passes by, but she doesn't see me because I'm safe inside the cabin. Often I see packs of the skinny dogs slipping through the woods. And sometimes one of the huge, lumbering bears passes in the darkness, sniffing for food, but since my humans are careful to keep the place clean, it goes back into the forest and disappears into the night.

And after I've finished my patrol, I go back to sleep on top of my boy's feet, and I keep him safe and he keeps me safe most of all.


End file.
